Welcome, time to relax and read ...

As parents, we must accept that we carry wounds and scars, both consciously and unconsciously. Striving for meaningful change while parenting is a process. It often feels uncomfortable, but we must summon the courage to confront the monsters that emerge from limiting beliefs. The journey toward meaningful change begins when we recognise these triggers in our parenting. The best part is, identifying points at which the triggers show up.

Most parents, have had the privilege of witnessing their baby’s first reaction to music. Without hesitation, they move some part of themselves, if not their whole body, and enjoy the sound with full expression and contentment. There's no fear of being perceived as uncool or out of control. So, what happened, if we all started from a place where we could experience song, dance, and laughter uninhibitedly? Judgment (one of shame’s ingredients).

Anxiety is a normal emotion we all experience in various ways. It becomes a disorder when it is excessive, persistent, and interferes with our daily lives. As a new parent, I've learned firsthand how easily one can slip into a deeper trench of anxiety. While some anxiety is normal, excessive anxiety is detrimental to our infants. Research shows that infants are sensitive to our emotions and parental stress can lead to stress in infants too.

Similar to the requirement of play in our lives for wholehearted living, is the need to rest too. As parents, our long lists often keep running in our minds even in bed. Despite knowing how vital rest is, we have normalised overstretching ourselves, promising rest later and somehow also passing this lesson to our children. As much as technology has favoured us in many ways by reducing the amount of time-consuming work we engage in, we seem to have decided that accomplishments

As most things go with parenting, the physical attachment we have with our children, in infancy, must evolve to an emotional bond; finally evolving to a psychological attachment. We need to be their safest emotional-cushion to land on when they struggle to process something that is going on in their peer-world. We need to model language and behaviour that fosters internal approval rather than comparison.

Intuition is our ability to hold spaced for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith and reason. Faith is a place of mystery, where we can find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of out fear of uncertainty. Without leaning into my intuition, getting through the weekend would have been tough.

For a long time, I thought joy and happiness were the same thing and gratitude was the prayers you mumbled before dinner. As shared in my previous post, I became a parent for the first time during the pandemic period—a time that really shone a spotlight on my relationship with scarcity and my fear of the unknown. It felt like there were very few places I could call safe, and I was constantly worried about the health risks for both me and my baby.

I vividly remember my baby at two weeks old, crying incessantly at 2 a.m., despite being fed, dry, warm, and held dearly. I felt a deep frustration that I tried to attribute to exhaustion. I couldn't understand why the so-called "joy" of motherhood was nowhere to be found when I needed it most. The frustration grew exponentially, and I marched downstairs to where my mum was sleeping and left the baby with her—I couldn't take it anymore.

Perfect. Perfectionist. Perfectionism. Words we often use without realising the scars they leave behind. The sad truth is that many of us who struggle with these concepts began forming their roots in childhood. We were constantly trying to meet the expectations of the adults around us—figuring out what they needed, what made them criticise us, what we did that was inadequate, and what about us was unacceptable.

In today's world, the terms "authentic" and "authenticity" are often overused, sometimes losing their true meaning.

On my previous post, I explored love and what it means for me, particularly with the most commonly known concepts of love i.e. the languages. I have established that love is spiritual, something that can be inherently felt for another as you feel for yourself. It’s built through connection, trust and vulnerability. Love, for oneself and others, I have come to believe, cannot exist without belonging and being authentic. Interestingly, belonging cannot exist without practicing

Children possess a pure innocence that makes loving them automatic. They love and affirm your belonging without words. Isn't it fascinating that we all began from this point, yet over time, love and belonging became complex? A crucial aspect of parenting is removing 'if' and 'when' conditions on love. These create conditional acceptance, fostering a sense of unworthiness. A child feeling they must earn love will carry this message into adulthood unless it's addressed.

My experiences embracing courage, compassion, and connection with my children have involved joyous activities like play, singing, and dancing, alongside difficult ones like sincere apologies. “Sorry about that” doesn’t cut it compared to “I am sorry I shouted.” (I’ve picked up some tips about apologies from Harriet Lerner, but that’s another story.) My goal is to demonstrate to my kids early on that I’m not invincible and that respect for oneself and others is paramount.