Welcome, time to relax and read ...

For a long time, I thought joy and happiness were the same thing and gratitude was the prayers you mumbled before dinner. As shared in my previous post, I became a parent for the first time during the pandemic period—a time that really shone a spotlight on my relationship with scarcity and my fear of the unknown. It felt like there were very few places I could call safe, and I was constantly worried about the health risks for both me and my baby.

I vividly remember my baby at two weeks old, crying incessantly at 2 a.m., despite being fed, dry, warm, and held dearly. I felt a deep frustration that I tried to attribute to exhaustion. I couldn't understand why the so-called "joy" of motherhood was nowhere to be found when I needed it most. The frustration grew exponentially, and I marched downstairs to where my mum was sleeping and left the baby with her—I couldn't take it anymore.